Want to look like Hunter Schafer from “Euphoria”? We got’chyu, plus looks from the rest of the cast.
By Aditya Shukla, Psychologist, Author
Say: "That's the right context, absolutely. But here's a finer detail that grabbed my attention – and you go on explaining in your way." Instead of: "that's wrong, I know the right explanation"
Say: 'Wow, I was not expecting that. I've heard something totally different all my life. And one experience for sure looked that way.' Instead of: that's a myth, bro. This makes the speaker defensive and less welcoming of new information
1. Accusations of them being wrong 2. Avoid assuming you know the facts 3. Don't dismiss the experience because the explanation was wrong. The point of conversation is usually bonding with others, not scientific debate.
Say: 'That sounds correct, but I got convinced otherwise. I don't know what your experience is, or how much you've explored, but in my limited experience, this is what I concluded!' Instead of: See you are the expert, I'm just a layman talking. This makes the conversation a power-play where the listener feels and behaves less engaged, and the expert becomes more authoritative
Say: 'Ok, I'm not understanding, so why is this happening to me?' Instead of: I don't think this applies to me.
Say: I'm trying to understand that you are upset, but I can't follow what you are saying. Instead of: That definitively doesn't make sense, This takes attention away from the emotion, when the speaker prioritizes emotions.